So, I did a tarot reading today. (Bring on all the judgement! :D) I guess I need myth and mystery to tell me that I need to move on from Mike and that’s what it said because my intellectual brain isn’t enough? The person said it was a short intense relationship but there’s nothing there to lead to anything. 🤷🏽♀️
That’s the big takeaway. (as if)
I was also reminded to connect to my love of dance that it really helps me find joy. One of my complaints with living in Australia is the lack of song in the life here. It almost gets much too mechanical. So I put on Bollywood songs and danced for half an hour. After that I was filled with a sense of exhilaration and homesickness. I ended up calling a whole lot of people in India because I felt this hyper energy I haven’t experienced in God knows forever and didn’t know how to cope with. Perhaps it is the first time since getting Chronic Fatigue Syndrome that I felt this energy. I can’t say it led to much of anywhere productive other than me trying to call a bunch of people and having a few conversations but it almost felt like if I danced everyday, I might heal myself – body and mind. I guess it’s worth trying, and looking into.
Oh and I called Mike again. Because that is one of the things that goes wrong with misdirected hyper-energy. He didn’t answer. Pretty clear he doesn’t want to be in touch. I think the human revolution is for me to learn to be better at understanding someone sending a clear “no” signal.
I ended up cooking for lunch for tomorrow and chanting quite late, after midnight. But now I am really sleepy.
The weekend has not been good for food and stress management. Surprisingly I am more stressed and end up with more stress-eating comparing to during the week. At least now I am aware of it, something to watch out for next weekend. Schedule more check-ins and relaxation so I can find more joy!
I have no idea where I am headed or how. I figured today that I need to get back in line with my determination to read 5 volumes of New Human Revolution by March 16. I won’t finish my one million daimoku by then but reading should be easier, closer to the realm of possible if I apply myself to it.
Here’s a wonderful quote from my studying Feb 2018 Indigo Magazine last night:
Human revolution is the process of self-transformation based on faith.
Food for thought, especially the “faith”. Lots to think about, must discuss this with other members!
Hope you had / are having a wonderful weekend! xx <3