This morning while chanting I was again reminded of my cowardice and that my life is my hands and I gotta make it happen.
In my cowardice, I was hiding behind my inability to confront what I needed to do in the situation and take action. Instead of aiming to schedule the interview for my dream job, I was already planning for my failure and plan B and planning to spend time doing assignments and interviews for jobs I did not find interesting.
I realised I gotta put them off and give my all to this dream job interview. Here. And. Now.
After much deliberation and turning things around in my brain I now have an idea of when I want to schedule it. I started to rehash it. In this process as I was reading the New Human Revolution volume 6, I came across this quote from Sensei:
A leader has no time for speculation; she must be firmly resolved to win over all obstacles and negative forces without the slightest shadow of doubt.
-Daisaku Ikeda NHR vol 6 p210
Question is, am I going to be the leader of my own life or not?
I firmly resolve to be so.