Hope to Overcome Sickness

I wrote yesterday about my determination to create causes in faith while I felt really sick and overwhelmed with the persisting sickness.

Today things started to move already. I went to Yoga at 5.45 am this morning, felt pretty awesome, wish there could be a class with humans every day. I came back and chanted for an hour. At 8.30 am I called my primary care doctor who I found in March this year. They didn’t have any appointments on this week and I asked to be put on the cancellation waiting list.

At 1.30 pm I went to see my local GP. My neighbour had recommended another GP at that practice but I hadn’t had the time to change my appointment. As luck would have it, the receptionist asked me if I wanted to see the other doctor as she was available sooner. I was more than happy! This GP turned out to be really good. She mentioned how the other GP had given me incorrect instructions about my ear drops. She gave me the right instructions and even gave me a referral to an ENT specialist.

I got home and I received a call from my primary care doctor’s office that they have a cancellation on Thursday, so I am again booked in to see her on short notice.

I also started calling for ENT specialists, desperate to get my ear unblocked. All of them seemed to be booked until October, November or even until March 2020. After a few calls, I found a specialist that had a cancellation tomorrow around lunch time. I booked myself in and told them I would confirm within the hour.

I struggled. I was supposed to go to a team lunch at my new job with my new team tomorrow. I had to dig deep for courage and to be able to express my constraint with respect and confidence. I told my new manager I would need to see a specialist and offered him alternatives to come by on Wednesday or later tomorrow. He replied soon and said he was sorry to hear about my issues and agreed to aim for Wednesday.

I feel proud of myself for being fearless and putting myself first, respecting my life. I had to really consider whether I am already going to sacrifice my very critical health needs for a job that has not even started yet. As soon as I realised that, I knew what to do.

And then, later this afternoon, I got my period. Suddenly everything is unstuck in my mind. I have to remember to note symptoms to take to my doctor on Thursday.

I persevere. I will home visit a member tomorrow and meet with at least two others this week, ahead of my group meeting on Saturday.

As one of my leaders said to me today, “If things are not challenging, you will get slack and not deepen your faith. Let’s appreciate the challenges as they come.”

As President Ikeda says,

President Toda said: The great endeavour of kosen-rufu is a struggle against devilish functions. We must win over devilish functions. Then kosen-rufu advances. It is foolish to think that kosen-rufu could happen without devilish functions. The Daishonin expressly states that “This world is the domain of the devil king of the sixth heaven. Defeating these devilish functions requires the sharp sword of daimoku.”


I must resolve to win over everything to advance kosen-rufu.

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