Experience – Health and Relationships

Earlier this year, I shared my experience about my struggle with relationships and health. It was published in the SGI Australia magazine in Sep 2019, titled “Chanting for Absolute Victory”. Here it is!

I started practising Nichiren Buddhism in 2013 in the depth of my despair. I was very sick and suffered from digestion problems. I had seen several doctors with no success. I kept trying to figure out what might help me. I was reminded of my university roommate from 2008. She had mentioned chanting, meetings and Soka Gakkai. Although I did not like her as a person, I recollected how things seemed to work in her life. Soon, I started chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo using Youtube. In the first week of chanting two minutes twice a day, I found a helpful health practitioner and became hopeful. 

I moved to Australia in 2014 and consulted doctors locally. In December 2014, I was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Having a five-minute phone conversation made me bedridden for days, draining me completely. I was all alone and continued to work full-time to support myself. I couldn’t even chant and felt trapped and hopeless. I felt like a lifeless corpse that was somehow still breathing. I tried any and every treatment that showed in front of me. In this time, my group leader’s unceasing support kept me connected to the practice.

In 2016, I was also diagnosed with widespread but changing food allergies. I followed a strict rotation diet and medicine schedule. This regimen consumed all my energy. Determined to not be defeated, I started carrying my food to team outings. I really struggled with my reality. I looked at others felt envious that they could eat what they liked or go for a walk anytime. I felt lonely, disconnected and hopeless. I chanted to find a life partner to relieve my loneliness.

In 2018, my prayer was answered. I met my lifelong soulmate. I dreamed about a future where I had someone to love and share my life with. However, three months later in July 2018, he broke up with me on the phone, saying that things weren’t working well. I felt shattered, heartbroken and lost. I felt I wasn’t good enough for anyone to love me, reliving my emotions from having had a traumatic childhood.

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Experience – Dream Job

I shared my experience about landing my dream job at my dream company earlier this year. Here it is!

Good morning everyone. Thanks for coming today. I’ve been practising Nichiren Buddhism for the last 6 years.

Today I’d like to give you a bit of a glimpse into my life and how I’ve changed since I started practising, sort of like before and after photos, without the photos.

My life started in a small town in India with a highly educated, picture-perfect, close knit family. However, my early years were rife with deep suffering. I was a victim of emotional abuse and neglect. I was sexually abused for over a decade and never told anyone. I grew up with guilt, shame, fear, panic, helplessness and isolation as my close friends. I had extreme anger and a tough facade, the only ways I’d found to protect myself. I grew up hoping that one day I would wake up to find my life was just a bad dream.

As a little child, I also have bright vivid happy memories of deep love and joy with my father. This relationship changed as I grew older. My father’s love came with high expectations. He pushed me to be the best at everything. I felt I deserved to occupy space only if I was achieving academic excellence. This caused me extreme anxiety. I did everything possible to avoid failing and later I avoided doing my best so I could justify my failure.

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